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It’s Roger’s birthday, and he begs to be roasted, but when he ends up devastated by the jokes, he vows to pull his life together. Things take a turn for the worse when Roger takes it one step too far, causing the Smith family to go on the run

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In preparation for a neighborhood pool party, Stan tells his family to get in tip-top shape. But when an accident ruins the Smith family name, a humiliated Stan fakes his family’s deaths and moves everyone out of Langley Falls to escape his shame

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Roger announces that he is putting a portfolio together so he can study crime scene photography. Meanwhile, Stan follows Steve around for the day and discovers that Steve shies away from obstacles, so he decides to bully Steve so that he will toughen up. But Francine does not approve of …

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While out tasting wines, drunken Roger kisses Francine, who decides to tell Stan about the incident.

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After Roger and Francine are victims of a mugging, Roger joins the police academy so he can learn how to defend himself and his loved ones, but he falls in with a corrupt cop (guest voice Bobby Cannavale, “Will and Grace”) who leads him astray. Meanwhile, Hayley’s new friendship threatens …

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When Stan admits that his heroes include Ronald Reagan and the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team, including Michael Eruzione and Rob McClanahan (guest-voicing as themselves), Roger confesses that he played on the team as Chex LeMeneux. But when Roger comes clean that he took steroids to win, they both lose. …

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After attending a My Morning Jacket concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with their music & decides to become a groupie.

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Upset that Hayley no longer wants his advice, Stan decides to prove that she is missing out on his sage counseling. After meeting a stripper on an important CIA mission, Stan takes it upon himself to improve her life and show Hayley that his advice works. However, when he opens …

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After attending a My Morning Jacket concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with their music & decides to become a groupie.

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When Francine demands that Stan get rid of his SUV to save money, he buys a horse—one that Roger (who’s a jockey) swears to him will win a big race and bring in enough money to cover the gas guzzler’s expenses. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends Snot, Barry and Toshi …

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The Rapture happens on Christmas Eve, and Stan is left behind.

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Upset that Francine has let herself go, Stan takes drastic measures when she asks him to renew their wedding vows.

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Steve must become the “man of the house” when Stan relives his childhood.

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After Hayley and Steve leave for their summer vacations, Francine looks forward for the time she will have alone with Stan. However, Roger is living in the attic fighting for all the attention he can get. This results in Francine taking her time to teach Roger to be self-sufficient, which …

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Steve and his friends find and play with what they think is a video game in his father’s study, but they really activate a CIA drone.

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Stan has to convince the dictator of Isla Island to sign a treaty in order to get a promotion at work. When Stan meets the general and accidentally kills him, he gets Roger to pose as the leader of the small island nation. However, Roger takes his persona too far …

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Steve is asked to sing the national anthem at the Langley Falls Veterans Day celebration.